They say that when you get married, you also marry the whole family. You have to try to get along with everyone, especially with your mother-in-law. All mothers-in-law are different in their own ways. Some can be sweet while others can be completely opposite of sweet. No matter what they’re like, it is better to have a decent relationship with them and make them happy. So, here are simple ways to make them love you.
1. Go and visit her.
If you usually find her popping in the house unannounced, it could mean that you don’t visit her often or at all. It would mean so much for her if you could drop by and visit her from time to time.
Invite her out for coffee or lunch to catch up on things. It would make her feel important and won’t feel excluded.
2. Show that you appreciate.
Mothers-in-law are oftentimes taken for granted knowing that they will be around when you need them. But as they are getting older, they tend to become overly sensitive and just want some love and attention from all their children.
A simple thank you would suffice if she happened to pick up the kids from school or cleaned your upstairs bathroom. Instead of whining and complaining, show you appreciate the little things she does for you.
3. Call her.
She may be far away from where you live, but it does not mean that she stops being your mother-in-law. Do try to call and check up on her so that she’ll know you are thinking of her too.
That way, she would not have the need to come and visit you at home unannounced if you are constantly communicating with her.
4. Be polite.
Keep your mouth closed when she criticizes you and stop doing the same thing in front of your spouse, it would only make you the bad guy in this situation. I
t is best that you just put up with what has been done rather than complain about it as this may cause a rift not only with her but also with your spouse. After all, it is their mother you are undermining.
5. Ask her for advice.
Asking her advice regarding your spouse’s favorite dish or dessert would make them feel that you still include them in your lives.
It is important that you show them that their opinion still matters and that you value their advice regarding some of the decisions you make.
6. Invite her over.
It would be nice to have the grandparents over for the holidays or even for just a few weeks to get together as a family. It is high time for catching up with them and making new memories.
Your spouse and children would be delighted to have them over and make up for the time spent apart.
7. Laugh it off.
Use humor when dealing with nasty remarks from your mother-in-law, it would soften the blow on you and also soften her up a bit.
Continue to disregard her criticisms with your good humor and then maybe she’d realize that there is nothing really bad about you.
8. Put in the effort to know her.
Make an effort to get to know your mother-in-law better. She may reveal certain things about her that explain why she is the way she is now. Ask her about things she loves to do and places she likes to go to. Seek her expert opinion about matters that you think she’s qualified in a certain field. Also, ask her about child-raising and balancing work.
This would make her think and feel that she has done a good job in raising her kids. It just takes a great deal of kindness and understanding to really love her for who she really is.
9. Give her something special.
Give your mother-in-law a gift for no reason at all. A spontaneous gift would make her feel really special and appreciated.
It would also show you care about her by putting in the effort of giving her something special.
10. Let her bond with your spouse.
Mothers will remain as mothers for as long as they are breathing. While they are still around, let your spouse spend some quality time with her. Don’t compete with the time your spouse spends with her, there’s always enough time for the two of you.
Give them time to catch up and breathe, it might just be what they need.
Having a relationship with your mother-in-law based on love and respect is what will endear you to her. Always remember that she is your spouse’s mother and she deserves all the attention, love, appreciation, and care for raising up the love of your life. Nasty or not, she is your mother too.